Remember when Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley were married? Remember how profoundly unsettling it was to see them together? That's the only feeling I can equate with the sensation I felt in the pit of my stomach when I saw this woman's outfit. I feel that, although Dress Barn and other designer-inspired-fashions-for-less-at-the-strip-mall stores (conveniently located next to the grocery store!) are a prevalent force in suburban society, they are reasonably easy to resist. Not for this poor soul. Another one lost to Fashion Bug. I am convinced that the causal factor of this horrendous clothing epidemic is a typical suburban lifestyle. Having lived in both suburban and metropolitan areas of the country, I can tell you first hand that nothing squashes creative expression quite like living in a small New England town. 'Why bother with my Choos? I'm just going to the grocery store with a bunch of bland people in sweatpants.' Then, before you know it, it seems acceptable to wear white orthopedic shoes and flowered pants. A friend recently asked me "Where do you go in this town worth carrying a piece from your handbag collection?" And the answer to that is: nowhere. It's my charity work; lead by example. But I digress. On to the main problem of the ensemble. My rage disorder comes on full force when it comes to knock-off designer handbags. Why on earth would you want everyone else to think you are carrying something well-made and luxurious only to get home later and have to dig your change out of the various holes in the lining? This handbag, if you want to call it that, as I prefer 'small Laura Ashley loveseat with handles', is a fake Vera Bradley.Fake. Vera. Bradley.
Appalling.
Map showing states adversely affecting American fashion (in red) and those having a positive influence (in dark red):
1 comment:
just when you thought those horribe recurring nightmares of Smurfette were over....Bang!!!!! Who new she wasn't gone after all. I'm thingking that including up-state New York in your two most fashionable locales is simply a topographical map coloring error. Having been, sadly, to such places as Baldwinsville, I can attest first hand that there is NO fashion there. Although clean smocks are handed out daily at the Budweiser plant ;)
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