We will be discussing bad car fashion in this post. You see, I don't just hate terrible fashion choices, I generally dislike anything that is in poor taste. And I can't think of anything more gauche than advertising your opinions on aborting fetuses on the bumper of your vehicle. Especially when those opinions are clearly wrong. Pro-life minivan. Excuse me while I politely evacuate my lunch from my stomach. If you aren't familiar with this bumper sticker, it is actually a shorter version of the original which reads "CHOOSE LIFE YOUR MOTHER DID". I see them everywhere, which means two things: 1. I am living in the wrong part of the country. 2. I spend a lot of time talking myself down from bouts of road rage during which I have vivid and murderous fantasies. Is the idea behind these bumper stickers that if you so happen to be pregnant and on your way to a clinic you will see it and change your mind? Because the demographic of women driving behind you and considering abortion while paying close attention to your bumper stickers is pretty small. And what if your mother didn't "choose life"? What if your mother lived in a tiny mid-western town in the 1950's and didn't want to risk her life at the hands of some coat hanger-wielding "doctor"? Or what if your mom happened to be one of those women who are so fat that they don't know about their pregnancy until labor begins? Again, narrowing the field of people this bumper sticker could apply to. Can we retroactively abort the owner of this van?
Thursday, September 4, 2008
I Sometimes Wish I Had a Gun In My Glove Compartment
We will be discussing bad car fashion in this post. You see, I don't just hate terrible fashion choices, I generally dislike anything that is in poor taste. And I can't think of anything more gauche than advertising your opinions on aborting fetuses on the bumper of your vehicle. Especially when those opinions are clearly wrong. Pro-life minivan. Excuse me while I politely evacuate my lunch from my stomach. If you aren't familiar with this bumper sticker, it is actually a shorter version of the original which reads "CHOOSE LIFE YOUR MOTHER DID". I see them everywhere, which means two things: 1. I am living in the wrong part of the country. 2. I spend a lot of time talking myself down from bouts of road rage during which I have vivid and murderous fantasies. Is the idea behind these bumper stickers that if you so happen to be pregnant and on your way to a clinic you will see it and change your mind? Because the demographic of women driving behind you and considering abortion while paying close attention to your bumper stickers is pretty small. And what if your mother didn't "choose life"? What if your mother lived in a tiny mid-western town in the 1950's and didn't want to risk her life at the hands of some coat hanger-wielding "doctor"? Or what if your mom happened to be one of those women who are so fat that they don't know about their pregnancy until labor begins? Again, narrowing the field of people this bumper sticker could apply to. Can we retroactively abort the owner of this van?
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2 comments:
And this is how these things are allowed to continue from generation to generation. Perhaps had THEIR mother been pro choice, we would not be saddles with these bumper stickers. There is however a ray of hope that DARWIN will catch up to these right wing, religious fanatics.
the other night i had a dream in which i was cruising around, flicking my cigarette butts at other drivers with offensive bumper stickers/ obnoxious luxury vehicles/ poor operating abilities.
because, in my dreams, i am joan jett.
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