Friday, September 26, 2008
She's a hot bitch.
I would just like to say that Michelle Obama is my favorite political fashion icon since Jackie Kennedy. Examples of her fabulousness:




Never you mind that she's sharply intelligent, an admirable working mother, a strong feminist, and a refreshingly candid potential first lady. All I care about are the clothes.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Very....um, blue.
Fake. Vera. Bradley.
Appalling.
Map showing states adversely affecting American fashion (in red) and those having a positive influence (in dark red):
Thursday, September 4, 2008
I Sometimes Wish I Had a Gun In My Glove Compartment
Possible Barry Manilow Sighting
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Please Make the Paisley Stop
Today we'll be discussing a suburban epidemic known as Vera Bradley. These brightly colored pillows with a strap are very affordable for designer handbags as in "I only paid fifty dollars for this quilted horror". Not at all surprisingly, this trend originated in the South. Apparently when old ladies were leaving the plantation for a day of shopping at Lilli Pulitzer, they felt the need for paisley luggage in which to carry their knitting. When I see these out in public, I want to vomit all over them. My indigestion is made worse by the fact that the bags are oft accompanied by those pants with little embroidered turtles or anchors or something that aren't pajamas and Crocs. Many times in my life I've considered performing a fashion experiment by rocking an ugly trend just to see if it catches on. I feel this is what happened with these bags. One day some stoned kid carried one as a joke around a college campus and...presto! everyone else fell into line. If you happen to wear this bag or know someone who does, don't worry. I fully support people wearing whatever the hell they want. I'll just make fun of you. My Gucci may hurt the shit out of my shoulder, most certainly isn't machine washable, and cost a small fortune, but I look fabulous carrying that shit.
Friday, July 18, 2008
No, silly, onesies are for babies!
I have to admit, when I saw this outfit, I was in a club. A nightclub. I know, I know, I should expect to see these type of outfits in such a place blah, blah, blah. Here's what I think: when you go out "dancing" and presumably searching for a mate (for a night or a lifetime), wouldn't you want to look your best? This adult onesie is doing nothing for this poor girl. If she were a celebrity, this is the sort of outfit that would spark a "baby bump watch" of extreme proportions leading to many a gossip magazine cover proclaiming "baby joy" and highlighting her empowering decision not to marry her baby daddy. Then her publicist would have to make one of those humiliating statements that her uterus is empty and she's just chubby and has a penchant for unflattering tops. Or bottoms. Or whatever the hell you call this frock. Onesie notwithstanding, what on earth are those shoes all about? I saw a lot of shoes like these while I was shopping in Stuart Weitzman for my wedding. And I sometimes see them in the Vicky's catalogue in the "office wear for porn studio receptionists" section. And you can't really tell by the photo, but I must add that the background color on the jumper is an ecru and the shoes are a true white. Bad, bad no-no.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Saturday In the Park
Behold:
As you may be able to decipher from the above picture, this photo was taken on a warm spring day in a beautiful outdoor setting. In this type of situation, I feel that leather pants are innapropriate when you aren't at (or planning to attend) the Folsom Street Fair. But that's just me.

If wearing these pants wasn't a mistake, tucking in the shirt really, really, was.

Ah, the best for last. If you can't see it in the photo, let me be the one to tell you that, yes, those are nude pantyhose. I actually think this is the one element that makes sense. I mean, if you're going to bite the bullet and wear leather pants on a warm day, you might not be able to remove them without taking precautionary measures. Best not to let them actually come into contact with any skin, dig?
As you may be able to decipher from the above picture, this photo was taken on a warm spring day in a beautiful outdoor setting. In this type of situation, I feel that leather pants are innapropriate when you aren't at (or planning to attend) the Folsom Street Fair. But that's just me.
If wearing these pants wasn't a mistake, tucking in the shirt really, really, was.
Ah, the best for last. If you can't see it in the photo, let me be the one to tell you that, yes, those are nude pantyhose. I actually think this is the one element that makes sense. I mean, if you're going to bite the bullet and wear leather pants on a warm day, you might not be able to remove them without taking precautionary measures. Best not to let them actually come into contact with any skin, dig?
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