Today we'll be discussing a suburban epidemic known as Vera Bradley. These brightly colored pillows with a strap are very affordable for designer handbags as in "I only paid fifty dollars for this quilted horror". Not at all surprisingly, this trend originated in the South. Apparently when old ladies were leaving the plantation for a day of shopping at Lilli Pulitzer, they felt the need for paisley luggage in which to carry their knitting. When I see these out in public, I want to vomit all over them. My indigestion is made worse by the fact that the bags are oft accompanied by those pants with little embroidered turtles or anchors or something that aren't pajamas and Crocs. Many times in my life I've considered performing a fashion experiment by rocking an ugly trend just to see if it catches on. I feel this is what happened with these bags. One day some stoned kid carried one as a joke around a college campus and...presto! everyone else fell into line. If you happen to wear this bag or know someone who does, don't worry. I fully support people wearing whatever the hell they want. I'll just make fun of you. My Gucci may hurt the shit out of my shoulder, most certainly isn't machine washable, and cost a small fortune, but I look fabulous carrying that shit.
